I could talk about tonight's Mariners game, but dude, that was just ugly. So instead, I've written that song about Mark Lowe that I promised. Technically, it was supposed to be a song about Mark Lowe's slider, but, well, inspiration hit me like a Padilla fastball, and I couldn't quite duck it.
The Guy With The Slider
(to the tune of "Eye Of The Tiger" by Survivor)
(new lyrics by Deanna "Marinerd" Rubin)
Comin' out, back on the mound
Got the sign, threw his pitches
Went the inning, now he sat them all down
Just a man and an armful of heat
So many times, they're taking the bait
He makes the batters look silly
He gets his grip and it's hurled to the plate
As they fight just to stay on their feet
(Chorus:)
It's the guy with the slider
It's the arc of the flight
Darting down as the batter is retired
And the last of the lineup
Tries to hit him tonight
But they're striking out facing the guy
With the slider
Face to face, out on the field
Brush 'em back, actin' angry
They'll track his arm, still he keeps it concealed
'til they've swung, having misjudged the speed
(Repeat chorus)
Comin' out, finished the game
Got the save, got the glory
Several years from now they'll mention his name
As a man in the pitching elite
(Repeat chorus)
It's the guy with the slider,
The guy with the slider...
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